this is a long post.  if you don't want to subject yourself to it, please
at least read the last paragraph..




i'm sick of hearing about how billy's become such an evil person because of
__________ <---insert tragedy here.  i won't deny that he's changed.  but
the change is called GROWING UP.

during the gish era, he was on lsd.  this is self admitted.  (see the
rolling stone article after jimmy left the band-  sept, i think)  the siva
video is modeled after a lsd trip.  (see mtv's feature on sp videos, found
on mtv.com) he also did cocaine and was not so terribly moral about sex.
(from an article from a phoenix magazine in 1996)

siamese dream was worse.  he was self-admittedly into the "whole junior
rock star bit" (details, oct 1996) you've all seen vieuphoria (i hope)
where he trashed guitars and stages.  i'm not totally against this,
silverfuck on vieuphoria is fucking amazing, but it's not exactly the most
mature thing in the world.
he dated courtney love while he was married.  (this may be just a rumour,
but it's pretty commonly accepted)  i've read several articles that mention
that he had a 'girlfriend' hanging around while he was married.  (again,
this could just be reporters that didn't know his wife, etc.)
the worst thing i heard about him during sd was from a friend.  of course,
this may not be true, but i can't see why he would lie.  when i asked if he
like sp, he got sort of a disgusted look on his face.  he said he used to
love them-  had gish, sd, and most of the singles-  and went to see them
live on the sd tour.  at the concert, billy was so wasted that he couldn't
even stand up.  they made it halfway thru 'today' before he collapsed and
was carried offstage, screaming obscenties at the audience. he was
completely fucked up.  i'm not totally anti drugs, but if a few thousand
people pay thirty bucks to see you play, you better do a damn good job.
drugs and alchohol should never get in the way of the performance.



now look at 95-96:  billy and co. started to make statements against
moshing even before bernadette o'brien died.  (at the double door concerts,
billy said "i- we- do not like moshing.  so don't do it!")  personally, i
like moshing, but this is a new show of maturity from a band named after a
vegetable. i can completely respect that they're trying to get people to
focus on their music.  they don't need to sell tickets to people who are
not interested in what they're playing.  after the mosh pit death, they
took every security measure possible to prevent moshing.  the security at
the shows that i've seen was incredible.  they had a problem, and they
solved it.
firing jimmy was the most integrigal thing they could do.  yes, jimmy was
an amazing drummer.  i have never heard a better drummer on a rock album.
but he was also a drug addict.  there's a difference between eating a space
cake on the weekends (see the kerrang article, 95 or 96, i'm not sure) and
letting drugs come between you and your responsibilities.  that's my point
with the drugs on the sd tour.  i saw two shows on the mcis tour and billy
was extremely coherent at both of them- trust me, he was not stoned.  if he
wants to do drugs on his off days, it's none of my buisness.  i'm paying my
money to hear his music and i have no control of what he does outside of
that.  thank God sp is not a rock band who spends their time backstage
shooting up.  ask yourself: how many other of your favorite bands would
have fired a band member after a drug arrest?  most would pay the bail with
one hand and buy another hit with the other.  a few years ago i think maybe
sp would have done the same.  now they are realizing their responsibilities
to the audience.  being in a rock band is not an excuse to party, it's
their job.
billy's been acting more mature all around.  he's behaved himself on every
recent interview i can remember seeing-  no more "well don't inter-
fucking- rupt!"'s.  he comes across as intelligent and thoughtful, without
such an ego as in previous years.  yeah, maybe he's friends with marilyn
manson.  did anyone he remember he's also friends  with stevie nicks, one
of the most respected songwriters ever?  to quote d'arcy when asked if sp's
friendship with manson and the frogs reflected a new state of mind for the
band: "oh, that's always been our state of mind.  they just express it
better than we do."  (from mtv's pre- grammy interview)




how many of you have never tried drugs or see yourselves trying drugs in
the future?  billy corgan's thirty years old, and he has.  how many of you
have not been friends with 'bad' people?  i know i'm friends with many
goths who do terribly unmoral things just becuase i like their
personalities.  and does every single one of you think that you will go
thru life with just one 'one and only?'  i doubt it.  so is billy corgan
suddenly evil cause he's done a lot of human things?


i'm just sick of hearing everyone bitching about 'what's happened to our
precious billy.'  people are reacting more to the dancers at the grammys
than to his smashing guitars.... could this becuase the latter was expected
from 'alternative' bands? so sp is breaking standards for what a rock band
should be.  oh, heaven help us, kurt cobain must be rolling over in his
grave.  who cares?  why like a band that conforms to any stereotype?



i can respect billy corgan, rich and famous and smiling at the grammys with
scars underneath his designer suite, a million times more than kurt cobain
acting fucked up at every interview and marilyn manson cutting himself
onstage. yeah, the pain doesn't go away.  once depressed, always depressed.
i would know.  but why is billy 'betraying' us by learning to control his
external life? he's not some alterna-rock angel to be your role model.
he's a person who writes beautiful music.  i love his music.  his personal
life should not be scrutinized unless it interferes witht this music.  what
does it matter?




-marci

ps:  before you flame me, go look up every article i cited as evidence at
nikki's sp newstand.  they're all true.  remember that i wouldn't be on
this list if i wasn't an sp fan.




*morphine city slippin' dues down to see*- 1979