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Obsession - Eric Agnew
Random Bits of Quality...
1996-05-27


This is not a flame-response, as some others have been... But I think
it's a response worth reading, as it broadens quite a bit into general
tolerance & personal opinion/lifestyle...

-=-=-

>I recently had a very profound thought.  It's affected me for the better-
>opened my eyes, given me a new perspective.  I'd like to share it with
>you in hopes that you might come to realize what I have

I must first digress: A lot of this sounds -way- too much like a
fundamentalist's testimonial... :>


>she ended up telling me that I was obsessed.  Usually I would have taken that
>as a compliment, but I could tell that she was serious and very concerned.
>It bothered me enough that I sat down to "evaluate my motives."

Hm... "I enjoy this too music too much, therefore something is wrong
with me"? Seriously- is there anything truly wrong with enjoying
-anything- to a great extent? It's called 'passion'... For some people,
it's knowledge, for some it's books, for some it's sports, for some it's
music. Obviously, for a lot of us here, it's for SP. I would tend to
think that it's more unhealthy -not- to have a passion in life...


>Now, I've always been seen, and have felt like, a very "strong"
>person. And when I finally saw the dependency that I had developed on the
>Pumpkins, I felt somewhat uneasy.

Dependency? Or extreme enjoyment? Obsession, or passion? Perhaps fine
lines, but I think you're ignoring them completely...


>This had never happened to me before, this obsession.  And once I realized
>what was going on I felt very "weak."

Why is it weak to get enjoyment out of somehting? Are you afraid you're
enjoying them -too- much? This sounds like one of those archaic "if it's
that good, it must be evil" lines of thought... :\


>And yet I felt as if I was darn well near worshipping them.

Well, there's a definite line... :) But I highly doubt that any of us
have literal shrines in the religious sense, or that any one of us pray to
'the Pumpkin Gods' or anything outlandish like that... :>


>So I stopped, rather limited myself.  And I saw just how "blinded" (how I
>hate to use that word) I was.  Not that the Pumpkins are bad.  The key is
>moderation.  Everything in moderation.  And now I feel better, enlightened,
>more appreciative.

Eek. Very Bad Word to use... Sounds way too church-like <grin>. (Note to
the potentially offended: I'm not anti-god, I'm just anti-church/religion...
<grin>) But the whole moderation thing is one that isn't going to work
for everyone. Some people are fine without having any extremes in their
life. Some people (myself included) would find this boring & lifeless.
Some people enjoy- believe it or not- enjoying themselves, and feel no
need to feel ashamed or guilty of doing so!


The thing is, people have to accept that other people are going to want to
lead different lifestyles, and -nobody- has the right to tell -anyone-
else that any particular lifestyle is wrong for them. Some people smoke,
some don't. Some do drugs, some don't. There's a billion different
things that people do, and for each of those, there are people who
-don't- do them. Well, save the obvious, like breathing, etc., but even
then there are exceptions, if you want to get -that- technical... But
the main point is that only I can tell myself what I want to live like,
and the same goes for everyone else. If someone else chooses a different
lifestyle, it doesn't mean it's wrong, and it doesn't mean they're any
less of a person. Obviously this now broadens out to a large number of
things besides "being obsessed" over music, but the same holds true.


>I see you go on and on about the stupidest things

Stupid to you, perhaps, but obviously not to those involved & discussing
it. Granted, there are posts that -are- stupid, but what you're pointing
at is far more subjective than, say, someone asking if Billy really got
run over by a garbage truck in Finland last night... :)


>I mean, it's like you people don't have lives outside of the Pumpkins which
>is not only sad and pathetic, but unhealthy.  No offense, but if you fall
>into one of those catagories, GET A LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There needs to be a HUGE "IMHO" there... (IMHO) :> Again, it's a matter
of lifestyle. Some people like to have a variety of interests, some
choose to have a few very deep ones. Neither method is better than the
other, it's just a matter of personal taste.


>It's like you're all members fo a cult and Billy Corgan is the leader, and
>you follow him wherever he goes, do whatever he does, and say whatever he
>says.

That's the choice of whoever does so. I hate to bring this up again, as
it's obviously a rather touchy subject, but it's a very appropriate example:
several people killed themselves after Kurt did. Obviously these weren't the
most emotionally stable people.  But maybe they were. In any case, it was
the choice they made, and unless you can honestly tell me that you knew
exactly everything that was going on in their minds for their entire lives
up to that point, you have no right to say whether their decision was right
or not.


>but I doubt he'd approve with the obsession that so many of you have for
>him and the Pumpkins.

Even so, does that mean we're wrong? If Billy doesn't approve of our
lifestyles, so what?! They're not his lifestyles, they're ours. Billy's
said before that they're not a political band: they're not here to tell
us who to vote for, or what to do with our bodies. And as long as we're
not peering into Billy's window every spare moment, who cares how we
choose to enjoy ourselves? Even if The Almighty Billy disapproves of
someone's lifestyle, it doesn't make that lifestyle wrong for that
person... Billy hates Bush. So those SP fans who also like Bush are WRONG?
"Personal opinion/lifestyle" doesn't work that way.


>if it is true (which I'm not saying it is) and he does want all of the
>lifeless groupies joining a cult, then I don't need him or the Pumpkins.

Well, good for you, that's your choice. But if this were the case, I
highly doubt that these "lifeless groupies" would considers themselves
as such... :)


>I'm sure some of you will go to all lengths to justify yourselves, but
>don't come "flaming" to me about it, I don't want to hear it.  If you have
>an opinion share it, don't force it.

Well, your post sounded a bit forceful itself, but I've been on both
sides enough to know that it probably doesn't sound that way on your
end. Anyway, my opinion is that no opinion is valid other than one's
own. If you think that people need to conform to a certain standard,
then that's fine. If not, that's fine, too. But I don't think anyone
should assume they have the authority to judge other people's lives and
opinions and label them by their own standards.


>I ask you to look at yourselves and inside yourselves and see if you're one
>of those followers.  And if you are, for your sake, get out of it.

A well-meaning plea, but also misplaced. If we're "in it", perhaps we
chose to be? In such a case, we find nothing wrong with "it", and see no
need to "get out of it." So the "for your sake" part really doesn't hold
up there... :)

Personal opinion is just that. (Hey, that one's even in the FAQ! <grin>)
Personal. Noone can judge someone's personal standards and tastes except
for that person. What's right for one person isn't for another. What
some people enjoy, other people don't. Wouldn't it be boring otherwise?
:)


Man, I feel like I've just done some big high school English paper, or
Sociology or something... :> Oh well.

I seriously hope everyone considers this, and that we start to see less
opinion-attack posts... If you read this far and think I must have some
bizarre (to you) lifestyle for saying all this, you've missed the entire
point.


L8er...
                                        -Eric

--
URL- http://www.engr.wisc.edu/~agnew (/sp.html) | Smashing Pumpkins FAQ mtnr.
"on dead highways, her black beauties roam/ for june angels, so far from home/
for a love lost, a faded picture/ to tread lightning, to ink the lavendar
skies"  -SP, where boys fear to tread




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