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You Know Your Life is Ruled  by the Pumpkins If... - Jody Woodruff
Random Bits of Quality...
1996-08-16


Hi, all, here's just an appetizer before I write and post my awe-inspiring
epic Listessa Land post!!

You know your life is ruled by Listessa and the Pumpkins if:

A local radio personality says Chris Cornell is better looking than Billy,
and you take it personally.

You make a compilation tape of SP's softer songs in an effort to convert
your mother.

You call/fax/e-mail your local radio station more than 3x a day asking them
to play Muzzle.

You really think Karl Daher is the king of something.

Your mother offers to take you to the doctor to have the keyboard surgically removed.

You shave your head in an effort to look more like Billy (especially if
you're a girl).

You looked on a world map to see if you could find "Listessa Land."

You named a pet or child Billy or Karl.

You know more about Billy than Billy himself.

you TELL people you know more about Billy than Billy himself.

You kiss a poster or picture of Billy/D'arcy/James good night EVERY NIGHT.

You carve your jack-o-lantern to look like any of the bandmembers.

At night, you hit your knees to pray to Billy instead of God.

You are actually offended by flames from other Listessans.

You read the FAQ for fun more than 2 times per month.

You understand the song "Spaced."

You can make others understand the song "Spaced."

You go into a record store and don't leave until you have put all the
misplaced SP cd's in place and cursed the fool who misplaced them.

You go into a record store with a feather duster and lovingly dust the SP
cd's.

You actually believe that Billy/D'arcy/James would sleep with you.

You worship Eric Agnew as a slightly lesser deity than Billy Corgan.

You actually CARE about Billy's religion.

Your country-music-fan friends can recite the full names and birthdates of
all 4 Pumpkins.

Your younger siblings refuse to go anywhere with you in your car because
you always play SP and nothing else.

You know EXACTLY how many "yeah"'s are in French Movie Theme.

You can sing French Movie Theme and get the "bonjour" in the right place
without thinking about it.

You can name every song they've ever played, recorded or live, in
alphebetical order.

You've ever had the following or a similar situation:
A friend comes over and says he'd like to hear Siva.
You: Live or recorded.
Friend: Live
You: Acoustic or electric
Friend: Electric
You: With or without "Kill your parents"
Friend: With
You: Before or after 1992
Friend: Before
And you pull out your RAWK! bootleg and proceed to play the song for him.

You own and enjoy the 1979 remixes.

You played Disarm so much that your pet parrot now says "OOH, the years
burn" instead of "Polly wants a cracker."

You are prepared to sing any song they might ask you to sing if your dream
were to come true and they invite you on stage.

A local radio station holds a contest wherein you must sing Tonight,
Tonight in order to win a backstage pass, and you call up, sing Tonight,
Tonight, the Tonight Reprise, and proceed to ask if you should also do
Meladori Magpie, Jupiter's Lament, Rotten Apples, Blank, and Medellia of
the Grey Skies.

You know what the following abbreviations mean:
BC
PS
MCIS
SD
PI

You read to the end of this post!!

	Forever your star,
			Jody

"Well, um, this is kinda how I name my songs. Say you write a song
about...a chandelier.  And the chandelier gives off light.  It's a red light.
And you know that red is the color that you're NOT supposed to wear around
bulls, so you call the song 'Cow'."
			   		  --Billy Corgan, 1991




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